Just a Little Venting... that's all

I miss home so much and I'm finding it so hard to live here sometimes. Today especially has been really hard for me. I'm working so much to be able to pursue God's calling but it's stressful emotionally and physically. I just got hired at Starbucks, so between both jobs, I work a total of like 60+ hrs/wk for pennies. Example, yesterday I worked from 7AM - 3PM, then from 5PM - 11:30PM and again at 7 AM. :( I work so much, and sometimes I think "for what!" I know I'm supposed to be here, and I know He has a plan, and I totally trust Him. But of course it's so difficult when the future is unknown.

Coming out here has been such a huge test of faith. I thought I was moving to NY to love and serve, when really, God's been doing so much more than that. I'm learning about myself and about my relationship with Christ. Before all things, I need to be settled, established and rooted in Him, so He's setting an even stronger foundation of love in me so that I can be blessed and bless others. He's sharing with me so much about myself (the good, the bad and the ugly) and sometimes it's not easy. I've started to make a list of things I need to change in my life and things I need to be more consistent with. This journey isn't just about me loving people, it's about Christ showing His love and passion for me. He will forever continue to show me His love, but He has set this time aside so I could hear His still and quiet voice.

This past weekend I was supposed to be at a retreat with my roommate but I had to cancel because I was so sick. The pharmacist said I was having an allergy attack. I've never had one of those before and it wasn't fun. I nearly couldn't speak and I couldn't call out sick cause I need every penny possible. (This was just another battle.)

Why is it so hard to find a job here in the city? Sorry, now I'm venting. I'm very optimistic and I find great joy in following His plans, but it's so hard sometimes. REALLY HARD!

Prayer Request: for divine appointments and for my finances. Oh, and strength. :)

Thanks guys! I love you so much! Now I gotta go have an early dinner and head to bed cause I gotta be at Starbiz by 5:15 AM. gnight

Isaiah 41:13
For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying to thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

Psalm 55:22
Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee; He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.